


Town of Salem drabbles

by DaelyPuns



Category: Town of Salem (Video Game)
Genre: "surv claim", Anime, Anime night, Caffeine Addiction, Caffeine Addiction Played For Humor, Caffeine Withdrawal, Cinnamon rolls, Coffee, Gen, Hacking, Pizza, Puns & Word Play, Pyromania, Sunglasses, Superhero Comics, Thanks Wikipedia, Trademark Favorite Food, Turtles, Weebs, Yuri on Ice - Freeform, don't get near a caffeine deprived amne, fire puns, gasoline, he smokes pocky sticks, it's a headcanon my friends and i have, japanese snacks, no one respects the spy, pocky sticks, the escort may have a problem, the exe is scary, the medium fucking roasts him and she's a kid, the spy loves pocky sticks, the witch is a weeb, tortoises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-03-31 22:57:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13985100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaelyPuns/pseuds/DaelyPuns
Summary: Town of Salem drabbles made to fulfill the prompts that were given to me by the folks at the ToS Discord server. They follow the formula "role + word". About 200 words each.





	1. Spy + sunglasses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why do you wear sunglasses? It's raining." His mouth twitched a little at the strange question, but the girl was young and she was right, there was no reason for sunglasses.

The Spy adjusted his sunglasses, trying to hide the smirk on his face.

"I am the Consigliere. I know you are the Witch, we can work together," he had overheard from across the square. If only they'd known that they were doomed the second the word "Consigliere" left the man's mouth.

Sadly for them, they didn't know. They didn't know that the seemingly innocent man was able to hear it all. The Veteran's heartbeat. The Survivor's breath. The faint clicking sound that the woman next to him made whenever she blinked. Just like he could hear the quiet footsteps approaching.

The person behind him —the Medium claim, he thought to himself— cleared their throat, as if he hadn't noticed their presence. He turned around, facing the girl.

"Why do you wear sunglasses? It's raining." His mouth twitched a little at the strange question, but the girl was young and she was right, there was no need for sunglasses.

"Because," he said, trying to ignore the feeling of nervousness that invaded him whenever he talked to someone, "they make me look cool." He adjusted his sunglasses again, as he searched in one of his pockets for a pocky stick.

"So you're not cool," the kid said, her logic totally sound. She turned around and left without another word, leaving the poor Spy silently breaking his pocky stick into pieces in anger.


	2. Spy + pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crumbs fell on his keyboard as he typed away. A pause. Then more typing and munching.

Crumbs fell on his keyboard as he typed away. A pause. Then more typing and munching. An unknown voice filled his ears and the Spy whispered: "I'm in".

"The Jailor claim. No one touch him. The Bodyguard and the Lookout must be protecting him. Attack Joseph instead." A stern voice commanded. The Spy could not recognize this voice, the low quality of the audio making the words almost unintelligible.

"You bet, sir," a new voice said. "Who should be framed?" The Spy almost choked on his pizza because of the excitement that phrase caused him. So the Mafia had a Framer... He should let the Sheriff know that.

"That guy with the ridiculous sunglasses," the first voice said, "he's an idiot anyway." The Spy did choke this time, but the reasons were very different from the last time. 'Ridiculous'? He'd show them, show them all, he thought as he tried his best not to die from eating pizza. He coughed with tears in his eyes, desperately searching for a glass of water, or better yet, energy drink.

He'd show them all...


	3. Arsonist + turtle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your 'turtle'. It's a tortoise." The woman said, carefully wiping her glasses with a handkerchief before settling them onto her nose once again. "Turtles live in the water."

"It's a tortoise."

"What?" He asked, confused.

"Your 'turtle'. It's a tortoise." The woman said, carefully wiping her glasses with a handkerchief before settling them onto her nose once again. "Turtles live in the water."

The Arsonist frowned at the Investigator, and then looked at his beloved pet. She was as beautiful as always, happily chewing on the meat of unknown origin and nature that the Serial Killer had provided her with. "First of all, 'it' is a she. She's not a thing." The Investigator looked dismissively at him like she couldn't care less. "And second of all..."

He was cut off by a sharp yelp of pain that came from the woman's mouth, who was now rubbing her hand and looking irritatedly at Edna, the turtle. Tortoise? Whatever. The investigator sighed tiredly. "I'll be in my house if you need me. Which I doubt, Survivor claim." She turned on her heel and a second later she was gone.

"Well, my love," the pyromaniac said, caressing Edna's head, "Who's a good kid?" The animal just blinked before resuming eating.


	4. Witch + anime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Look at what you've done!" Amanda, the Witch, said, on the verge of tears. "Do you know how expensive this stuff is?"
> 
> "No, I don't, you know very well that I only drink blood and eat suffering."
> 
> "Which is why I got you the blood of a Japanese 0+! This is anime night, Vampire!" The Serial Killer said, angrily picking up the Japanese snacks off the floor.

"Wait, wait, wait. Wasn't this guy from Japan? Why is he Russian? And why...?"

The Witch rolled her eyes. Why did she have to put up with this? "This is _another_ Yuri! Are you even paying attention at all?"

"Well, _excuse me_ if I'm having trouble following the story of two characters with the same name!" The Vampire said, accidentally knocking the bowl of Kappa Ebisen off the table. The Amnesiac, the Serial Killer, and the Witch gasped in horror simultaneously.

"Look at what you've done!" Amanda, the Witch, said, on the verge of tears. "Do you know how expensive this stuff is?"

"No, I don't, you know very well that I only drink blood and eat suffering."

"Which is why I got you the blood of a Japanese 0+! This is anime night, Vampire!" The Serial Killer said, angrily picking up the Japanese snacks off the floor.

"Look, let's all calm down, I mean we still have karinto, right?" The Amnesiac said, attempting to restore the peace.

Amanda glared at him. "No, we do not, you should remember that the Werewolf ate them all on the last full moon!"

Everyone kept arguing until the Executioner slammed her fist on the table. "Shut up, all of you!" She said, and everyone in the room went quiet immediately. The Executioner sighed, taking out a box of pocky sticks out of her pocket. "I stole this from that guy next door. He's got twenty boxes in the closet, and who knows how many more he's hiding. He won't miss these. Now can we please go back to the anime?"

Everyone lowered their heads and nodded in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I know nothing about Yuri On Ice or Japanese snacks, I just got the info from Wikipedia.


	5. Transporter + gasoline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I wonder why the Survivor would want so much gasoline?"

"Give me that!"

"No. It's. Mine!"

The screaming was coming from the Transporter's house, and a small crowd had gathered nearby. "What's going on?" The Investigator asked, walking up to the Sheriff.

"William, the Survivor claim, the Transporter says that he's trying to steal gasoline from her." The Sheriff said before lowering his head. "I couldn't get them to stop fighting." The Investigator opened her mouth, probably to tell him how incompetent he was as a 'law enforcer', but she was cut off by a small laugh. She turned around to see Dexter, the shady town Doctor, chuckling at the sight of William fighting the Transporter over a can of gasoline.

"What is so funny?" She asked him.

"It's just- pffft- it's so funny!" The Doctor said, with tears in his eyes.

"I wonder why the Survivor would want so much gasoline?" Someone said, which only made Dexter laugh harder.

Meanwhile, the conflict between the Survivor and the Transporter had evolved into a full-blown battle. The Transporter grabbed a screwdriver and attempted to stab William with it. The young man just deflected the blow with his jacket.

"Should we, ah... you know, intervene?" The Sheriff said weakly.

"Nah," said the Jailor, who was watching the situation unfold with a small smirk on his lips, "let them argue it out."


	6. Amnesiac + coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He..." the woman said in an apprehensive murmur, "hasn't had coffee yet. I heard the coffee machine broke".

"No, don't do that." The Transporter whispered to him.

"Do what?" The Sheriff asked, confused.

"Go near the Amnesiac. Trust me, you will regret it."

"But why?"

"He..." the woman said in an apprehensive murmur, "hasn't had coffee yet. I heard the coffee machine broke".

The Sheriff looked around to notice that everyone was glancing worriedly at the Amnesiac from time to time, as if they feared he'd suddenly get up from his chair and stab everyone. The Doctor had said that these were withdrawal symptoms and that they should be expected. However, it didn't make this easier. The man was angrily sitting on a chair and glaring at everyone as if challenging them to get near him. No one took the challenge. But they did stare at him and their jaws did drop when he retrieved some coffee beans from his left pocket and started chewing them. He looked so threatening, aggressively munching on coffee beans, that no one dared to say anything.

The crunching sound he produced when crushing the beans in his mouth filled the entire town for an hour, and everyone within a range of ten kilometers shivered unconsciously. Meanwhile, the Amnesiac just ate coffee beans angrily, and everyone avoided eye contact with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoohoo, look who's back with more cheap comedy for you. I relate to the Amnesiac on this chapter on a spiritual level.


	7. Werewolf + superhero comics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "ARSONIST WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY COMICS!?"

"ARSONIST WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY COMICS!?"

"IF YOU WERE THE ONE WHO STOLE MY MANGA I SWEAR-"

The Werewolf and the Witch suddenly stopped screaming when they reached the kitchen. The Arsonist was sitting on the floor, in front of a pile of comics. They were doused with gasoline, and the man was absentmindedly fidgeting with a lighter. The Witch and the Werewolf held their breath.

"H-hey, William, how are you doing?" The Werewolf asked as a drop of sweat made its way down his forehead.

"Hey, you should see this manga. It's really lit." The Arsonist said, smiling innocently. "The characters are so hot."

"Y-yeah, that's my favorite manga, and it's limited edition and I would be really sad if something happened to it." Amanda, the Witch, swallowed and made her best effort to look charismatic and persuasive.

"And your comics," the Arsonist said looking at the Werewolf nonchalantly, "they warm me up inside! I think they are ash-tonishingly good!" He closed his eyes, humming. The Witch looked petrified.

"I... need to go to the toilet." Said the Werewolf. No one really paid attention to him as he made his way to the Serial Killer's room. "Hey, Dexter." He called out, trying to listen to what the Arsonist and the Werewolf were saying in the kitchen.

A voice came from inside the room: "I don't know what William has done this time, but I don't care. I'm busy." The Werewolf heard a faint scream from behind the door and decided not to ask questions. At the same time, a much louder cry of agony came from the kitchen, and he heard the distinct sound of paper burning. He dropped to his knees, desperate.

"For Batman's sake!" He said sorrowfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, yes, all the chapters with the Arso in it have lowkey Skarso. Sorry not sorry.


	8. Escort + cinnamon rolls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Escort, this is your fifth cinnamon roll! They are just calories and fiber, you need a more balanced meal! You need vitamins, proteins... You can't eat so many cinnamon rolls!" The Doctor said helplessly.

"Escort, this is your fifth cinnamon roll! They are just calories and fiber, you need a more balanced meal! You need vitamins, proteins... You can't eat so many cinnamon rolls!" The Doctor said helplessly.

"Watch me," the woman said as she took a bite out of the cinnamon roll she was holding in her hand. She chewed on it happily as the Doctor dropped his Healthy Eating Pyramide and his Venn diagrams sadly.

"That's not healthy..." He said for the last time before walking away, disappointed. No one in this town took care of their health. Except, of course, for that person who always seemed healthy, with their blood red lips and flawless ivory skin. He made a mental note to ask them about their diet. Deep in thought, he was startled by the Lookout, who ran by screaming incomprehensible things and clearly yearning for some cinnamon rolls.

"Give me one and I will watch you tonight!" She offered and then corrected herself before the Escort could say anything. "Not like that, I mean, I'll watch you tonight to see..."

"No. These are mine and no one else's. If you want them, fight me."

A thunder reverberated. The two women narrowed their eyes. A duck quacked.

"Gladly."


End file.
